Guest Post: Ramblings and Musings from Kevin Aagaard

Ramblings and Musings

Stream of consciousness from a grown up child

 KEVIN J AAGAARD

 neversuchdevotedsistersblog.wordpress.com is not an easy place to find. neversuchdevotedsisters.wordpress.com is easier, but someone already claimed that name. AND POSTED ONE THING EVER.

Anyway, I mentioned this Christmas break that I would be willing to take part in a guest post since it can be so hard to come up with things to talk about often enough to stick to a rigid schedule.

FirstWorld

Really though, it seems like kind of a chore to consistently write blog posts, mostly because writing is boring and feels like homework. Worst of all is having to apply a filter to everything I say, so it can’t just be stream of consciousness. When I got right down to it, I realized I had to lay out some rules for myself.

RULES

  1. Don’t be mean
  2. Be fashionably literate.
  3. That’s it.

There’s a little punk living inside of me that can’t help but take someone’s innocent-happy-time and make fun of it. Jewel and I recently watched A Million Ways to Die in the West, which was funnier and better than I expected, and I expected it to be the worst movie I’d seen that night (it was, and it was also the best). Point is, in the movie, Seth MacFarlane’s character explains that he’s not a hero; rather, he’s the guy making fun of the hero’s shirt and not helping address the issue at hand at all. That really resonated with me, which frustrated me because I don’t particularly like Seth MacFarlane (which I can say fairly since I’ve taken the time to get to know him on a personal level*).

What I mean to say is, blogging is exactly the sort of activity that I would love to lampoon out the wazoo**, up the ying yang***, around the bend, over the hills, and through the woods. So, if I can get through this without being mean—I’m not even going to commit to being nice, that’s a huge reach for me—then I’ll take it as a win.

Other goals that have been said at me:

  1. “Write about what it’s like to be a part of the Buckwalter family”
  2. “Write about what it’s like to be married to a Buckwalter”
  3. “Write about what it’s like to get to know the Buckwalter sisters”
  4. “Write about what it’s like to know people who smell so good and make water taste better and are never wrong in any argument so don’t bother trying”****
  5. “Don’t be mean. It’s 40 below outside and I don’t think you’ll survive if I kick you out”

One through three are basically the same: What’s it like to married into a Mennonite-rooted family of 5 daughters, who were raised to be leaders? It’s like this:

 

Nuns
*****

 

Also, 5 girls, 2 parents, associated spouses, and children can be a lot of people.

Crowd
******

Mostly, it’s real enjoyable. There’s so many of you that someone always has something going on*******, so even if my life is dull, I hear some exciting news about something (Janna’s going to grad school! Esther got a raise! Jewel’s pregnant! Rachel had her baby! Martha’s pregnant********! Kevin read a chapter book!).

Jewel gets tons of hand-me-downs, which is financially delightful. Sometimes Jewel gets hand-me-downs of things she hand-me-down-ed, which is like watching a rabid animal you thought was dead wander back on your property. (I thought I rid myself of that/those (insert article of clothing), do I need to call animal control again? Just die!)

Best of all, you 5 like cooking more than the average person, and some of you like cooking more than you like average people. Every night I eat something great. And I rarely eat the same thing twice. Even if it’s the same dish we’ve had dozens of times, there will be some unique twist on it that makes it seem brand new. Also, I have a terrible memory, so I rarely remember doing the same thing twice anyway. Also, I have a terrible memory, so I rarely remember doing the same thing twice anyway.

Most importantly, you know exactly when to provide pity-laughs when I say something uproariously funny, which is crucial for my ego. Occasionally, Jewel will forget this critical facet of our relationship and laugh less hard than what I said deserves, but upon gentle chiding, she laughs super hard (as we all would when told to laugh harder).

The past 9-ish years of getting to know the Buckwalters have been quite entertaining, and have challenged and stretched me as a person. Initially, for instance, I could barely tell Esther and Jewel apart, but now I get it right almost all of the time. On the whole, I really like you guys. Except one of you.**********

 

* Not true.

** Medical term.

*** Legal term.

**** Potentially sacrilegious?

***** Not very pacifist!

****** Line for bathroom at Buckwalter homestead, ~ 10:00 pm

******* Currently, someone is always pregnant

******** And no one was surprised…doing the math, Martha will get pregnant again between February and May of 2018*********

********* To remember what year Era was born, I had to think of when we visited Howe Island, and I remembered that the Vikings played the Bears after Thanksgiving in the 2012 season. A miserable loss.

********** I almost made it without being mean.***********

*********** ************

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