I am having one of those weeks. The learning curve with two children has been rough. This week I’m feeling it a lot. Every day I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to do all the things. Give the baby an antibiotic for her ear infection! Pump 2-3 times a day! Work 8 hours every day! Try to keep up with the laundry! Pay the bills on time! Remember to take back the overdue library books! Buy a birthday present for the five year old to take to a party this Saturday! Look at houses because we’re supposed to buy a house this summer! Try to get enough sleep! Probably I’m not drinking enough water, especially for a breastfeeding mother!
It’s pretty exhausting being an adult, especially now that I’m the mother of two. I feel like I’m constantly juggling so many things, and worrying about which thing I will drop next. I also have a lot of working mother guilt, which is not helpful. This week all the schools are on spring break, and I am sending Miriam to the YMCA for the full day program for all five days. I imagine other families are maybe taking vacations together, or having quality time together at home. On the way to YMCA this morning, Miriam said, “Mommy, it looks like all the other people on our street don’t set their alarms.” I had to laugh–she was right. There’s hardly any traffic, and it seems like we’re the only ones getting up and out the door early this week.
So I picked this photo for Throwback Thursday (and yeah, I stole it from your facebook album, Janna!). This was taken at our favorite beach in Maui in March of 2009.
I’m trying to remember what it felt like, being on vacation, standing in a warm ocean, with no little people who needed me constantly. I was 7 months pregnant when this photo was taken so being a mom was pretty easy, back then. Also, I had the time and money to go on vacation! Now? I owe my soul to the company store. That’s what happens when you go on maternity leave–you lose all your vacation. As of right now, I have 8 hours of vacation time to my name. If I don’t use any in the next few months, I may just be able to scrape together a few days for a long weekend trip this summer. But, since we’d like to buy a house, I should probably save the few hours I have, so I can take time to move if I need to. There is just not enough time.
I’m trying to look at this photo and breathe deeply. All shall be well. The chaos will subside. Someday we’ll be able to take a vacation again, although I don’t know when that will be. I’m so glad we had this one, years ago. It was a good one. Maybe next time we can get all the sisters there, and watch our children play in the waves.